Nothing beets a good laugh guys...
I found some nice hockey jokes on the web, and here they are!
If you guys find more, add them to this thread! I think we can make a huge thread filled with nothing but hockey jokes!


1)
I have news for the Toronto Maple Leaf fans..........
Leafs die every year in the fall....

2)
What do the Leafs and Raptors have in common? Niether one can play hockey!! haha get it?

3)
Women’s hockey is a really rough sport, especially on the goalies. Think about it, they have to go through 3 periods with only 2 pads!!

4)
There's this little boy from ottawa and parents keep beating up so he gos to court and the judge says you will be sent to your grand parents place but the kid says my grand parents beat me up even more then the judge gives him a list of adaption an on the list there was the ottawa senators so he pick them and the judge asked the kid why the kid says because the sens can’t beat anyone.

5)
Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemiex and Steve Yserman all die and meet in heaven. God is sitting in his chair and says to Lemiex "MArio what do yo beleive in?"
"I beleive hockeys is the greatest thing in the world and the best sport in history"
To that god says "take the seat to my left and Steve what do you beleive in?"
"I beleive bravery is the best"
To that god says "take the seat to my Right and Wayne what do you beleive in?"
"I beleive you’re sitting in my seat"

6)
What do the Calgary Flames and a womens Bra have in common?
The Bra has 2 Cups.!!!!!!

7)
Two boys are playing hockey on a pond in a park in Toronto, when one is attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy takes his stick, wedges it down the dogs collar and twists,breaking the dogs neck. A reporter who was strolling by sees the incident,and rushes over to interview the boy. "Young Leafs Fan Saves Friend From Vicious Animal," he starts writing in his notebook. "But I’m not a Leafs fan," the little hero replied. "Sorry, since we are in Toronto, I just assumed you were." said the reporter and starts again. "Little Jays Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Attack" he continued writing in his notebook. "I’m not a Jays fan either," the boy said. "I assumed everyone in Toronto was either for the Leafs or Jays fan."What team do you root for?" the reporter asked. "im a Ottawa Senators fan." the child said. The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Little [censored] from Ottawa Kills Beloved Family Pet.

8)
why did Dave Semenko retire early?? He was ice fishing and got run over by the zamboni!!!


9)
What do the Leafs, Canadians and the Titanic all have in common??? They all look good untill they hit the ice!!

10)
why do all habs fans have habs towels? they use them for crying on evertime the loose "they must use it alot"



11)
Saturday Night, a man decides to go watch the Leafs play the Habs at the ACC....
He has pretty bad tickets, and notices an empty seat way down really close to the Ice Surface....
Halfway through the game, the seat is still vacant, so he wanders down to it..... he asks the man sitting next to the empty seat if its taken.... the man replies "Yes, im saving it for my wife....she was supposed to come but she died a few days ago...."
The man knods in acknowledgment, but before he goes he asks "How come you didnt just give the extra ticket to a friend or family member?"
The man replies: "They’re all at the funeral"



12)
Why do Quebec couples do it doggy style?
So they both can watch the Habs' game.



13)
The Official Canadian Temperature Conversion Chart!!!

50° Fahrenheit (10° C)
• New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
• Canadians plant gardens.

40° Fahrenheit (4.4° C)
• Californians shiver uncontrollably.
• Canadians Sunbathe.

35° Fahrenheit (1.6° C)
• Italian Cars won't start
• Canadians drive with the windows down

32° Fahrenheit (0 ° C)
• Distilled water freezes
• Canadian water get thicker.

0° Fahrenheit (-17.9° C)
• New York City landlords finally turn on the heat.
• Canadians have the last cookout of the season.

-40° Fahrenheit (-40° C)
• Hollywood disintegrates.
• Canadians rent some videos.

-60° Fahrenheit (-51° C)
• Mt. St. Helens freezes.
• Canadian Girl Guides sell cookies door-to-door.

-100° Fahrenheit (-73° C)
• Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
• Canadians pull down their ear flaps.

-173° Fahrenheit (-114° C)
• Ethyl alcohol Freezes.
• Canadians get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

-460° Fahrenheit (-273° C)
• Absolute zero; all atomic motion stops.
• Canadians start saying "cold, eh?"

-500° Fahrenheit (-295° C)
• Hell freezes over.
• The Toronto Maple Leafs win the Stanley Cup.

HAHAHAHA Good ones King!

GSA

Toronto joke are hilarious!!!

However, habs joke aren't funy at all

i know.. i know.. when I read the habs jokes, I didn't find them that funny... but it's only fair.

By the way, here's another one I know.

Q: Why are people not allowed to drink tea in the Air Canada Center?
A: Cause all the cups are in Montreal!!!! Ow!!

!!!! Very funny jokes!! I loved all of them actually, the leafs jokes were the best, even being a habs fan though I liked those jokes too, because I know they aren't true

A golden image:


Funny!

Yet another one!!



HOckey ... a holy sport.

And...


ok.. I'll stop.

I like the picture with the ref and the sign over his head. That's very clever. Lucky that they got a picture of it too!