A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was insistent that the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to his manager, "Some a#@hole wants to buy a half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way.

Later the manager found the boy and said "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people who think on their feet here. Where are you from, son?"

"Canada, sir," the boy replied.

"Well, why did you leave Canada?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but w-h-o-r-e-s and hockey players up there."

"Really!" said the manager. "My wife is from Canada!"

The boy replied, "No shit??? Who did she play for?"

GSA

HAHAHAHAHAAHA!!! good one.

Thanks GSA, keep it up, I want this thread to be the biggest "Hockey Jokes" thread in the world!!

All very funny.

Thanks,
John

Very funny joke gsa! I will see if I can find some to add as well.

Hockey players have been complaining about violence for years. It's just that without any teeth, no one can understand them.

lol
GSA

Another one!

Brendan Shanahan was trying to choose which of his three girlfriends to marry, so he gave each one $5,000 to see how they would spend it.

The first spent hers on a makeover, clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells Shanahan, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to Shanahan. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."

The third one takes the $5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the $5000 to Shanahan and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."

Shanahan thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money, and decided to marry the one with the biggest b-o-o-b-s.

HAHAHAHA
GSA

What can you say Shannies a smart guy!!

John

lol, nice

LOL! i love the leafs. but i thought those pics and jokes were hilarious!

good jokes!