Some people around here might like these...

I like it!

While attending a Maple Leaf game this guy notices another guy with a dog at his side.To his amazement he notices that everytime the Leafs score the dog does a somersault.Again the Leafs score and again the dog does a somersault.This goes on 3 or 4 times until he finally just can't stand it anymore and has to ask this guy why his dog does a somersault everytime the Leafs score.So he gets up and goes over to where the guy with the dog is sitting and says:

"Excuse me sir,I have a question about your dog.I noticed that everytime the Leafs score a goal your dog does a somersualt.Why is that?"


The guy with the dog replies:

"I know,it's wierd,I have no explanation.Everytime the Leafs score he does a somersault."


First guy then says:

"What does he do when the Leafs win?"

The guy with the dog replies:

"I don't know,I've only had him 15 years!!!"

Johnny was in his 5th grade class when the teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living.

All the typical answers came up like fireman, policeman, salesman, etc. Johnny was being uncharecteristically quiet so the teacher asked him about his father.

Johnny said "My father is an exotic dancer at a gay bar and takes all his clothes off in front of other men. Sometimes, if the offer's really good, he'll go out to the alley with some guy and have sex with him for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by his statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some coloring, and took Johnny aside to ask him "Is that really true about your father?"

"Well, not really" said Johnny, "he plays for the Toronto Maple Leafs, but I was too embarrassed to say that in front of the other kids."

The Iraqi Hockey Player

Toronto coach Pat Quinn sends scouts out around the world
looking for a new centre to hopefully help win the Stanley Cup
for Toronto.

One of his scouts informs him of a young Iraqi centre who he
thinks will turn out to be a true superstar. So, Pat flies to
Iraq to watch him play and is suitably impressed and arranges
for him to come over to the NHL.

Two weeks later,Toronto is down 4-0 at home against Montreal
with only 8 minutes left. Pat gives the young Iraqi centre the
nod to go on, and he puts him on in place of Sundin.

The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 8 minutes and wins
the game for Toronto. The fans are delighted, the players and
coaches are delighted and the media love the new star.

When he comes off the ice, he phones his Mum to tell her about
his first day in the NHL. "Hi Mum, guess what?" he says. "I
played for 8 minutes today, we were down 4-0 but I scored 5
goals and we won. Everybody loves me; the fans, the players
and the media, they all love me".

"Great," says his Mum, "let me tell you about my day. Your
father got shot in the street, your sister and I were raped
and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters,
while you were having a great time".

The young lad is very upset. "What can I say, Mum, I'm so
sorry".

"Sorry!" says his Mum, "It's your damned fault that we moved
to Toronto in the first place!"

heres a good one
   

lol that iraqi hockey player one was hillarious!

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Dallas Stars fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Stars fans too. All of their hands fly into the air except for one little girl.

"Why didn't you raise your hand?" the teacher asks the girl.

"Because I'm not an Stars fan," she replies.

"Then," asks her teacher, "what are you?"

"I'm a proud San Jose Sharks fan," boasts the little girl.

The teacher gets a little red in the face, frustrated, and asks the little girl why she is a Sharks fan.

"Well, my Mom and Dad are Sharks fans, so I'm a Sharks fan too," she responds.

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a meth junkie and your Dad was inbred. What would you be then?"

The little girl pipes up "A Dallas Stars fan."

ChompBoard.com - San Jose Sharks Fan Forums & Message Boards & more

Good one tkaine!

GSA

A True Canadian

It's Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Final, and a man makes his way to his seat right at center ice. He sits down, noticing that the seat next to him is empty. He leans over and asks his neighbor if someone will be sitting there.
"No," says the neighbor. "The seat is empty." "This is incredible", said the man.
"Who in their right mind would have a seat like this for final game of the Stanley Cup playoffs and not use it?"
The neighbor says "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Stanley Cup we haven't been to together since we got married in 1967."
"Oh ... I'm sorry to hear that. That's terrible. But couldn't you find someone else, a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the seat?"
The man shakes his head "No. They're all at the funeral."

GSA